Sunday, September 24, 2006
Here i m... Back in this dark, lonely, empty house. Nobody to talk to, nobody to play with, nobody to tell my sorrows, no shoulder to cry on, NO NOTHING!! Always tot that i can be such a loner, but only now then i realise i cant. Im LONELY!! I ACCEPT THE FACT!! Feeling so down! Hard to find someone close to talk to... It's jus too difficult!
Guess ppl will feel that im jus a cheerful person w/o any worries and problems. HAHA... IT's so darn bloody funny! I jus dunno how to look sad in front of people. Laugh laugh laugh! To hide the bloody sad feeling la. Or m i surpose to crY? It's hard! Probably it's good for me to get drunk once more and just cry my heart out! It really feels good and i mean it!!
In no mood to do anything. Wanna jus gobble up all the pain, sadness and anger. Guess i'll soon be so addicted to gambling and drinking. What the hell is this world coming to?! Does it mean an end to me?!?! Nobody will know what is going to happen tomorrow. Really~
People will say, jus try to live ur life to the fullest. Eat shit la! Jus dump everything aside and hope that tomorrow never come. That's all! No use living life to the fullest when u wont even know if u had, after u're DEAD! Im not be selfish here. It's my life. I DON'T WISH TO BE CONTROLLED!!! THAT'S ME!!!!
GO TO HELL MAN!!!
Im so sorry that i do such shameful things when im out with u guys. I guess i'll try very hard to change this idiotic character of mine. SORRY! I'll try to control my emotion and my shamful acts, IF i have the chance to!
a penny for my thoughts?